Pissin' away another day in paradise. What ever happened to growing up? It is surly expected of me, and yet I feel like I'm going backwards. Summer sickness. Coming chill creeping over me, will I notice the falling? Will the cold snap snap me out of this cruse? I hope so. We have some time. All I can talk about is the cold and its still scorched earth outside; roasted emerald days.
Now the pain starts and still it doesn't stop. The oil burns lower, drip drop. Drip drop.
And yet, and yet... Complacency is just a word. There is something here, a quietness in the mind, a stillness in the heart. Paradise, sans beaches and paper drink accoutrements. Waiting, again and always and forever. A sleepy time, a time for quiet and selfishness. Soon the sun will lift from the horizon, and it will be a time of activity. But a wise man can find himself in either. I just wonder if I am wise.
Fortune cookies. The name is a bit misleading. Anyone who has every opened up one of these communiqué carrying confections would agree, they predict little and often make even less sense. Maybe they should be called Wisdom Cookies. Thinking about them like that, they aren't so laughable anymore. Maybe that how their supposed to be thought of. I’ve seen some that made me stop and think. I’ve seen some that made me feel better. I’ve seen some that had two semi-conflicting messages inside. I’ve seen some with many words which meant little. I've seen only one that took my breath away. It just had two words. Two words that sum up the most important aspect of life, something that so many may never understand.
Accept
yourself.
It looks so small there on the paper, so insignificant. Its so easy to hide, like its a little secret. But inside these two words are perhaps the simplest and most difficult, easiest and hardest thing one can ever do. So much in so few words. Imagine living without trying to justify every action, without trying to excuse every fault, without trying to hide every blemish, without judgments, without embarrassments, without fear, without shame. Imagine living with a noble heart and a strength. Imagine just living. So much in two words. So much in a cookie.
I feel that I can learn a lot about someone by what quotes they identify with. Is it unfair to just agree with someone who said it better then I could? There are so many things you could learn about me, my dear reader, so many things I would want to say if I let myself. I think about it a lot actually, I hear something that resonates so strongly within me I wish I could just take it with me everywhere I go. Get a little name tag with it on there. Would you know more or less then if it just said: "Adam"? What if I started using them here? Does it even matter? Am I the only one seeing these words? Would it be wrong to clutter up my little corner of the internet? I already do with these wondering thoughts.
Someone weighed the internet once. It seems like a crazy waste of time on the surface. However I appreciate the efforts someone put into something so daft, because they came up with a unexpected and charming answer, one I quite like: 0.2 millionths of an ounce. All that information, every last thing you wanted to know, and plenty that you didn't, in "...the smallest possible sand grain, one measuring just two-thousandths of an inch across." I think there's room for it. Yet something holds me back. It just feels weird. Maybe what ever it is that certain words find inside of me is just to intangible to reveal in the harsh black and white. Maybe I'm just embarrassed because it feels like cheating. Just cut and paste someone else's work and claiming some right to it. A right that I don't have.
