They press in everywhere, heavy with ghosts and shadows under the bright, bright sun. I don't want to be here. Please may I leave? I could take it all up to this, but these golden leaves of silver bring a real pain, a real weight to my heart. Is it so hard for you sometimes I wonder? I don't know who's fate is worse, yours or mine. To feel to strongly or to not feel nothing. Which hell would I choose? Is it better to protect all and lose, to win every battle and lose the war? No, I guess its not...
But I can't help feeling jealous. A fools desire. But as they say, the grass is always greener...
Did you see the moon tonight? I did, it was so beautiful, a perfect crescent moon. The kind of moon that the Muslims must have been so enchanted with. I could imagine it over a cold and quite desert. A thousand pricks of light, bleeding light, falling down to a windswept earth. Silver dust, everything silver in her pale radiance. A quiet place without the heavy golden leaves. Would you like to be there with me? Its not a hard thing to do, just look up and see it as I do. Feel the sand beneath your toes, hear the mumbling Jinn on the winds, the glowing sky. Can you smell the dust? Can you feel the warm gusts air, the blazing heat of day just past? Can you count the craters on the her perfectly imperfect face above? Close your eyes and really see. I'm standing in a valley of sandstone, the horizon a striped reminder of a sunset, frozen in cold stone.
I think you can. I think I don't feel so alone anymore, because I know your close. As close as we'll ever be... ouch. It was going so well until I found that thought. Or did it find me? Why do I insist on doing this to myself?
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