Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Willing a phone to ring is like willing the sky to part. The longer you stare, the more you see that all there is.. is air.
Willing is like wanting, only more like haunting.
Wanting is something that we all know very well.
But it always leave me thinking that it much like calling hell.
Its good for some fun and eat up time.
I just wish I knew why, I wish the wanting was mine.
It controls me, it holds me, do I have any say?
I'd want something better, something that'd stay.
When will I ever learn, some things stay true.
True to nature, you stay true to you.
I can change that no matter the willing.
I just wish this heart you'd stop killing.

I guess I need to learn to let go.
I forgive you. I do. I love you, now go. Please. Stay or forever go.

Friday, December 25, 2009

A flower

I once was bleeding, but a flower lead me away from my self inposed pain. You can still bring it so quickly, with just a word, or a kindness. But the time of pain is ended. I declare it here and now. Nu will only bring me fond smiles. You are not for me, my dear, but thats okay.
Love always, never stop looking..
And the flowers sing, and love rules all.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Fragments of joy

How can something so deeply covered in fog be so warm in my mind?
It was a great time, but what I glows strongest of all is a caring touch. Someone cared. I dont even know who it was. White with red triangles and blue dots. Green lines and roseytan legs. I wonder who that was? I can tell you who I wanted it to be. Do dreams come true? It may never come to me, because i wasnt even there myself. I wonder who I was... I said so much, just talk talk talk, sometimes I wonder at how much I changed.
Im not even to happy about it. But im just happy today. Fragments of joy and a big green monster.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

The goodbyes

Its the goodbyes that we say and hear that remind us that were alive. I dont know if I agree with that, but it somehow just rings true. Its good to say and good to hear, but its the hellos that fill me with a thrill and a shudder. Lately its been a lot of goodbyes. But not the one I feel like I need to say most.
But I think its time, these goodbyes may lead to the golden hello. The world is so big, so very big. The sea streaches to a lost horizion and deeper then the mind can probe. The sea is large indeed. But you need bait to fish a good line. Bait.
A strange way to look at my life, but a not incorrect one.