Calmly watching from mind a twisting tumult, I can’t help but look on slightly perplexed. It feels like I woke up one morning, drew back the curtains, and was greeted with a vista of unimaginable strangeness. I expected a quiet lake, the odd bored duck. Instead I find oceans of sand crashing on a frozen crystalline shore. The sun is a writhing void in a glowing sky of soft and pale light. It is then I realize that it is but my own reflection on the chilled glass I peer at. Beyond lies the world much as I remember it. It is only I who change. Slowly at first, ever so slowly. Then faster and faster, like an all consuming storm driven by its own fury. Change.
I look back at words and thoughts both old and somewhat new, and I can’t help but to wonder: Who’s are these? Its disorienting, I know they are mine, its just hard to believe sometimes. I still feel the much the same, I still stand by all of it, every last word, every last notion. But somehow I feel disconnected from the person who originated them. Much has happened, inside and out, and it is only accelerating in pace. I don’t know who I am anymore. Logic says I should be afraid, that I need to know. Reason tells me I should latch on to myself and not let go, to try and bring this headlong rush to a halt. But my heart tells me be at peace. Its voice is strongest, and I listen to it alone.
There is nothing to fear. I feel possibility surrounding me, so strongly I can almost reach out and touch it. I feel undefined, liquid. Its staggering, and frightening, and comforting, and exciting. What will I see tomorrow? Who will be looking back at me on that chilled glass? I honestly don’t know.
No comments:
Post a Comment