My Nuria

Why didn't see it sooner?  I saw, and I saw, much and more.  But it wasn't all of it.  I called you, my luminous one, I made you real.  Nothing fills me with more hope, nothing fills me with more terror.  How can this be?  The things that go unnoticed in my life, what are they up to?  They listen, its clear to me they listen.  They are the rats in the walls of the castle, the little bird on a branch in the woods.  They are also the maker and the destroyer, gods and men.  How careful I must be...

          I forgive you, my bright one, for it was not your fault.  It was my own expression returned, and I welcome it home again.  What else can I do with it?  My children are always welcome at my table.  Did I reach out in pain?  What did I release to myself?  The balance was lost, so long did I sit on one side.  I choose suffering, why?  Time and time again, why?

          Is it so easy to play that part?  Yes, so easy.  Its always around, just tap into it.  Is it so easy to connect with it?  We all carry it along.  Is it interesting?  Oh yes, ever so much so.  I was never bored, not once.  Maybe you don't believe that, but its true.  Nuria, you have been the most stimulating thing to ever happen to me.  Is it a good thing?  In the end, I can see the good in you.  Thank you for every minute.  Dreams come true.  What am I dreaming?  Is it worth it?  Yes, a thousand times yes.  Living is the justification for life, and its true for all children, the good and the bad alike.  We treat them all as treasures.  They are all treasures.

          There was always some balance, there are the good times with the bad.  There is more, there is room.  Is that what feels so good about suffering?  The room for love?  True and simple, practiced, not professed?  All things in balance, maybe I fell off.  So here is the clean page before me, what do I write?  What do I say to the mouse, sitting in my house?  Its time to make this right, to tell your story, and to tell of hope.  We always have hope, I will remind you of that.  They will be listening.

          Come, sit by the fire and be at peace.  There is soft music and slow dancing.  A great bird roasting in the kitchen.  The snow falls out the window, and the sun fades.  But here its comfortable, warm and safe.  You can close your eyes and hear the fire crackling, you can smell the cold, and the wood, and the food.  Welcome home my child.